Mentally Saved

Christine Villa

I have suffered the agony of trying to fit in, forever
You did not see me, for you were not there yourself
You seemed lost on a treadmill of being occupied
So I found myself another to console with.

The Library in my house is now precise and
It is filled with individual expressions I need,
I know exactly where every conversation is
I reach for them, and find we both needed each other.

Voices from prolonged, precise experiences
Individuals who have spent their reflections
Well into the night, until contentment spoke
Until their souls met their heart, and just knew.

You lift me on eagles wings, and remove me
Between the covers I find all my under linings,
Those moments when we touched so intimately
Where we knew each other, eye to eye.

The Kindle in my heart is filling with your beauty
I transpose your meanings into my own words
Until even my blood knows what you are saying is true for me,
We have chewed together and will certainly chew again.

Where would I be without you
For I cannot find a heart in sync ?
But am left cold, and I am told to go away
They tell me I am too deep to associate with.

I have not seen a TV for twenty years
I do not touch the social media places ever,
I cannot handle the stolen acts of small talk
And I have no family friends or children to consider.

 It is to you, the honourable book that I owe my life
The voices who have touched my heart and saved my soul,
Your expressions of honest feelings, shared so openly
Have kept me mentally safe from harms way.

You surround the coldness with a warmth sufficient
I am not alone when I look at my shelves,
For I know, when ever I need a friend, you are there
And you are waiting to engage, just like me.

So, together we ride the waves of isolation
As if they never existed at all, and we remain happy
We collect ourselves and spend our emotions
On, and with each other, one more time.

Christine Villa has written all her life, but in the lounge room. She was an abandoned baby and grew up in Institutions and Foster Homes. She trained as a professional counsellor after years of addiction and isolation. Writing has helped develop a deep internal life and now at 64yo she is beginning to speak out. With one published book on Amazon and another on the way she is discovering, it’s okay to express what’s inside, finally.