Before I Sleep

by Kian Hall

Content warning for suicide 

I never thought the final thread would come 
from an animated show starring a horse with the body 
of a man and a sordid past 
Yet as I horde the pills that will put me to sleep I think 
of that penultimate episode 
The performances of characters already dead 
and the poem of a child's role model 
who stood atop a bridge and teeter-totted until 
 
but he never thought about the view from halfway down 
until he peeked to see 
and I need to remember before I leap 
the view from halfway down 
and I need to remember before I leap 
to thrash to break from gravity 
because I need to remember, before I sleep 
that view from halfway down 

BoJack Horseman is the animated show about a washed up 90’s sitcom star, featuring a bizarre blended cast of humans and humanoid animals. In the penultimate episode, the main character joins all the characters who have died throughout the show for a performance where each character does a routine based on their deaths. BoJack’s idol, Secretariat, a famous runner who jumped from a bridge, reads a poem that shares its title with the episode, The View from Halfway Down. 

Biography
Kian Hall is an emerging writer from regional Victoria. Zeir poetry typically explores and reveals what it is to be a multiply disabled trans queer person. Zey have previously been published in Enby Life and Cordite and are working on zeir first novel.